Sometimes I feel like a bird perching on a barbed wire fence in a strong wind, ready to lift into the sky with the merest flap of wings.
My commitmentphobia is as entrenched as ever. Still no car. No house. No job. I can’t bring myself to make appointments or book plane tickets until the last minute, in case everything changes. Because everything can change in a moment.
I had a moment of intense clarity on Friday. To share details would be telling, but I realised in the space of an exchange lasting less than a minute that I needed to change something about my life, no matter how expensive or painful.
I can do that because I have enough saved up not to care too much about money. That is freedom, the kind of freedom that very few of us can claim.
In the end, the one thing I want to hold onto no matter what, is the power to walk away.